Ok, so in one of my last posts I mentioned it had been a hard week. To start off with it was just the usual crazy week of school runs and keeping five kids alive and amused. I’m actually entirely unsure why I didn’t have my usual time to write but there you go - that’s life with kids sometimes!
Anyway, after that I had a few days where Leo had really bad wind and really wasn’t himself so wanted to be held constantly. I felt so bad for him and because I was so tied up with Leo, I felt bad for Joey who was off playing by himself with very little attention from me. Joey was fab but let me tell you this - it’s so hard when one baby is ill and the other is still so young! My stretchy sling was a god send so I could still get my housework done but I did feel constantly helpless for everyone.
And then it hit me… If my boys need me to sit with them and chill out then why wasn’t
I doing it? Leo clearly needed me to sit and wind him the whole time and Joey liked sitting next to me with his head on my arm while we watched a movie and I loved the feeling of Joey cuddling in too, so why did I feel guilty while doing it? My role at the moment is to care for them and in that moment it wasn’t an active parenting they needed, it was cuddles… so why feel guilty?? Honestly, Mum-guilt kicks in at the weirdest times and over the weirdest things. I was feeling guilty about cuddling my babies… just coz the house was a little bit of a state. When I write it down it sounds RIDICULOUS but at the time it’s a very real issue and very hard to put aside, not just for me but for anyone.
Something I have to be very clear with myself about at the moment is that I am first and foremost a MAMA. I share this house with others who can help clean and tidy but no one else can be their Mama the way I can and so screw the housework, bring on the cuddles and fuck the guilt.
When I figure out how to sort that last one I’ll give you a shout 😆 And if anyone has any tips let me know 😘
💁🏽♀️GHD
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